So, the first time I try to “write” anything at this screenwriter’s conference (with some cheap giveaway pen) the fucker doesn’t even work, and I end up with biting invisible scrawl…carved into paper at a spot which I’ve now reached and must write across like speed bumps, bumpbumpbump. The inky tip won’t even retreat…bumpbumpbump. “PeopleJAR, filmmaking.peoplejar.com", yeah, that sounds good. “Connecting screenwriters worldwide.” Just buy better tchotchkes.
I’m feeling shattered, my hands shaking as I write, as I tried to fit my badge in lanyard, as I flip through envelope holding “Golden Pitch” tickets which turn out to be yellow (I want my money back!)
This is a better pen, suits me, sloppy and loose. Looking through program...AWG...supporting writers, blah blah. Now this would be funny…Actone “trains Christians for careers in mainstream film and television.” I could go undercover, pretend to not have drifted (RAN) from Catholicism, and use their services. When I win the Academy Award, I stand up and say, “I’d like to thank the dark lord, Satan, without whose help none of this would have been possible, oh, and Actone, the self-righteous pricks trying to infiltrate the secular with their doctrine. Thank you, thank you very much.”